Incognito Heart
by Teme of the year
Summary: An MIA agent. An all powerful gang. A blond boy with all the answers. CIA agent Sasuke Uchiha must pose as a fellow university student in order to get close with a certain Naruto. Possibly the only person who knows where Minato Namikaze disappeared to 8 years ago. Though Sasuke is about to learn that things aren't as simple as they seem. Narusasu, Sasunaru, SNS. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

The blond man panted heavily, pulling his hat and coat closer in attempt to fight off the unyielding weather. Tightly gripping a grey briefcase, he gulped down the cold, sharp air painfully. Eyes flickering about in his all too familiar paranoid state. His thoughts in a flurry and feet shakily carrying him across the wet courtyard. Each slap of his shoe kept squeezing his nerves, till he was sure he would dirty the stone beneath him with sick. He glanced up, seeing the Star Spangled Banner twisting violently in the wind. The brief thought that it would be torn from the pole momentarily crossed his mind, though as he approached the intimidating building, he was reminded of bigger problems. He halted at the door, sniffling his mucus and pushing strands of hair from his face. His breath trembled as he brushed his fingers over the briefcase. He took a moment. That was all he allowed himself. Pushing the doors, he was greeted with the plump, red headed receptionist. Looking surprised, but overall pleased to see him.

"Minato, doing overtime for that promotion, hm?" She quipped, a knowing smirk on her made-up face. Returning with a wave, he smiled.

"Nothing gets past you, Delilah" Nervously patting down the remaining rain clinging to his coat. "Kakashi gone home yet?" He asked, dreading her answer.

"You know he hasn't, I wonder who he picked that up from?" She teased, the sound of her fake nails tapping away at the computer. Minato knew he'd miss that noise and the woman that made it. "Any other person would enjoy their honeymoon, I keep telling him that Rin is going to drag him by the collar one day, and I won't be stopping her!" Her laugh filled the room, Minato gave a nod of his head.

"I'm sure she will one day, have a good night, Delilah" She gave a smile before returning to her work, Minato turned around. His smile dropping from his face like an anvil on the coyote. Sweat collected under the hand that held the briefcase, almost afraid he'd drop it.

Stepping into the elevator, he didn't know what made him feel more nauseous. Between the green walls, the tuneless music and the scent of rain, he just wanted this to be over with. Arriving to his floor and striding down the empty hallways, he recognised the blue light coming from a corner office, belonging to no one other than his faithful mentee. Minato restrained himself from speaking to him. Brushing pass and heading instead to his goal.

Tapping away at a security pad, a metal door slid open. Opting to run, he rushed towards the empty drive. Ripping open the briefcase, snatching the USB and slamming it into the monitor. Rapidly typing away; he deleting every file with his name, every email, every number. Everything that proved Minato was an actual human being that existed. He heard murmurs from the other side of the wall. He cursed, grabbing files that were tucked underneath the file cabinet. Thankful that no one had noticed the hastily stashed papers. Shoving them into the case, he ran a shaky hand through his hair. Jumping a foot in the air as the computer began to loudly beep. He huffed lightly, relieved yet somewhat queasy. Gulping down what he sure was lunch, he quietly returned. His quivering fingertips typed in the last code. Looking up as his own profile reflected him. Information disappearing as three red letters appeared over the screen.

He them over and over. Wondering if this whole run was a dream. Yet, they stood there. Solid and strong.

Minato Namikaze was MIA.

Storming out the building with the files in his briefcase, the wind billowing his coat. A sleek, black town car crept up the sidewalk, advancing steadily like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. Minato stopped, watching the backdoor open. He climbed in, smooth cream leather cushioning him. He stared ahead, a lone figure obscured by the dark. Broad and menacing.

"We appreciate your loyalty, everything is in place now" The shadowy man spoke, his baritone voice rumbled deeply. "Though I'm still not sure why you're adamant in abandoning your family" Minato shifted uncomfortably, "You know you can bring them along" The question hung heavily in the air, Minato avoided his gaze.

"I never want to see either of them again" His response resolute. The other figure stared closely before signalling to his driver.

Leaving as quietly as it came, the town car and the men inside disappeared into the night.

...

It was a crisp autumn, the wind had remained a pleasant friend and the rain a distant one. Kakashi looked into the greying sky, knowing this meeting would crawl slower than the clouds he gazed at. He glanced toward the clock, he supposed an hour late would be alright. He shot a look towards Shizune, the woman was clearly unimpressed with his timekeeping. Without even looking his way, she spoke.

"The director isn't going to be happy"

"Well, someone has to watch the clouds" He responded light-heartedly, she gave a roll of her eyes as Kakashi approached the door. He gave a casual knock and waited before Shizune spoke once more.

"You okay? I know these meetings can be...somewhat-"

"Get in here!" A commanding voice ordered, Kakashi gave a smile and shrugged.

"That's my cue" He entered the room with Shizune's worried look on his back. He hated the weight it bore. Promptly shutting the door and giving a cocked brow toward his boss, a surly woman who wouldn't bow to his charisma.

"Are you some sort of masochist?" The woman hissed, hands folded beneath her chin. Mock shock took over his face.

"You been talking to my wife?" He joked, but he knew laughs seldom prevented the director's wrath. "Or perhaps Guy? Though it's difficult with his acorn sized-"

"Kakashi!" Tsunade snapped, "Not only do you turn up late, but you come here making jokes" Tsunade stood, "I handed this case to you thinking no one else would be as diligent in bringing Minato in, with my ass on the line for that decision, I'd think you'd take this more seriously" Her face red in anger, Kakashi had the decency to look away. Tsunade had little regret over her sharp words. She straightened her blazer before settling back in her seat. The momentary quiet ended with Tsunade slapping a yellow folder down. "New information from Asuma and Kurenai" Kakashi stepped forward, flipping open the file and zeroing in on what they had discovered.

"Naruto's enrolled to San Diego State? Kushina's named herself as the parent with her maiden name?" Kakashi was puzzled, they never came above the radar like this, neither even had credit cards to keep their whereabouts vague. "Why now? What-"

"That's what you need to find out" Tsunade stated before fiddling with a ballpoint pen, "Well, someone of your choosing..." She clarified, Kakashi shut the file.

"Danzo" He spat out, desperate to get the venom of that man's name out his mouth. Tsunade gave an apologetic look.

"He's still furious you're the leader on this case, or on this case in the first place, he's demanding that someone else from the NCS go undercover" Explaining would do no good, sitting back as Kakashi leaned forward on her desk, determined as always.

"I could easily go in as a teacher, a tutor, a counsellor, anything" Kakashi was bargaining, Tsunade cut it short.

"Huff and puff all you want, this was a direct order, I can't dismiss it" Kakashi held her gaze before turning to the side, "You can send in Sasuke, he's your protégé, right? You were asking for a serious mission for him" Tsunade suggested, Kakashi blinked several times before responding.

"He's still young"

"Which means he can fit in as a student, get in Naruto's friendship group, hell if he's as good as you preach then we might actually nail Minato" Tsunade listed. Kakashi still looked unsure, but Tsunade had no time to coddle him, her face turned stern. "Progress needs to be made, Kakashi, otherwise, they'll take this case from you and turn him into a kill target" Kakashi rubbed his eyes tiredly, nodding after a moment. "Good, take the file and go send Sasuke off, remind him that he's on his own, he's got a gun and a phone" Kakashi frowned.

"I thought the government being broke was something we just said" Kakashi questioned, Tsunade began writing out paperwork.

"Danzo cut your funding, sent it over to another team in Florida, called personal beach house" Tsunade chuckled at the supressed curses Kakashi came out with. He turned and left, staring at the folder before tucking it under his arm. Sasuke was going to be thrilled. having his first undercover mission was the only thing on his mind since he joined the NCS sector of the CIA. Kakashi entered the nearby break room. Sure enough, Sasuke was methodically going over his latest recon mission with an uninterested Suigetsu, a language officer with little regard for anything that would take too much effort.

"Hey, look, it's your daddy, go bore him with this" Suigetsu flatly stated, taking a sip of his coffee. Sasuke glared at the snarky man before turning his attention to Kakashi. A more pleasant expression reserved for him. Kakashi was assaulted of the memory of gazing toward his own mentor in such a way. Shaking it off, he came closer.

"Kakashi, I cleared the Zabuza case, found a weak link in a boy he visits every month, turns out he wasn't a prostitute" Sasuke stood proudly, showing his work as if he brought home an A-plus. Perhaps Suigetsu wasn't too far off the fatherly comment...

"His name was Haku, he's the supplier no one was able to locate, I did a check on him and turns out he stores it all in an abandoned junkyard by North Carolina" Sasuke was beaming, he always did when he solved something. Even more so when he got to brag about it to Kakashi. Kakashi smiled, ruffling his hair.

"Well done, Sasuke, I'll make sure to pick up some stickers for you tonight" Sasuke rolled his eyes, while Suigetsu snickered.

"Hardy har" Sasuke folded his arms, "Say what you want, Neji struggled with that case for months, I solved it in a week" They heard a complaint from Neji echo from the room over. Kakashi chuckled and inclined his head for Sasuke followed him into his office. Of course, Sasuke had noticed the yellow folder immediately and was staring hard at it.

"Hoping to develop x-ray vision?" Kakashi asked humorously, Sasuke smirked.

"Mind reading, actually" Kakashi chuckled, sitting down on the worn out, Scandinavian couch Guy had gifted him when he became a senior leader. God, he felt old sometimes. Sasuke sat across from him, taking the folder and ignoring Kakashi's comment about patience.

"Minato?" Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Minato's family to be more accurate" Kakashi responded, pointing toward the picture of a 12 year old Naruto, "The photo is eight years old, but that's the latest we have, turns out Naruto is pretty good at avoiding photos, at least clear ones" Kakashi brought out Naruto's application form, pointing to his major, "He's taking a course at San Diego State, a bachelors in Journalism, I'm gonna get you on that course as a student, it's up to you to get close to him" Kakashi ignored Sasuke's animated expression, attempting to finish before Sasuke could jump in. Of course, Sasuke was a hard force to stop.

"Is this my own mission?" Sasuke questioned, "In charge and everything?" Excitement laced with every word.

"Yes, now pay attention" Kakashi needed to keep Sasuke grounded, he couldn't afford for him mess up. Sasuke pulled his shoulders up, picking up the picture of Naruto. "We're certain they know of Minato's whereabouts, or at least, what his plans were, he was a family man who-"

"Probably told his family his next move and is why we've not been able to track them at all, he's been hiding them" Sasuke finished, Kakashi stared at him before Sasuke coughed lightly, "I read the report the tracker made when you took me on a few years back" Sasuke admitted, Kakashi shook his head at Sasuke's relentless task of documenting his entire life.

"I'm impressed if not pissed off, though I shouldn't be surprised, after all you ended up in my house talking with my wife only three days after meeting me" Kakashi remembered clearly walking into his kitchen to see the 18 year old drinking ice tea with Rin. Sasuke was nothing if not dedicated to his job. "Anyways, you're only 21, so you'll fit in with the students, but you're gonna be deep undercover, so you'll have to do the actual work of a student, I'll set up fake grades and reports so you should get a scholarship" Kakashi handed him a blue sheet with too many codes to memorise, "You are there to collect as much information about Minato as possible, find out where he is, find out if the family will move to another city soon, and you have you be careful" Kakashi pointed to a picture with graffiti of a red and black cloud, "Akatsuki are protecting the family, we assume since Minato left with them"

Sasuke stared wearily before placing the picture down. The Akatsuki constantly eluded them all, no one was even sure how far it went. Whether it was firearms, drugs or prostitution, the Akatsuki name always came up. The leader made no appearances, the man was a shadow at best.

"Who am I working with?" Kakashi shook his head.

"Limited resources, Hinata has been sent to Arizona to become neighbours with Kushina, but since Naruto's college in is California, you'll have no access to her" Sasuke frowned, but nodded in agreement.

"Okay, when do I start?" Sasuke was eager to do this. His first real mission. This Naruto would spill his every secret to Sasuke, he knew he could do what others couldn't. Kakashi handed him a gun and a CIA cellular.

"Pack your bags tonight, you'll have a monthly allowance, find a close apartment near him, and Sasuke?" Kakashi gave him a deathly serious luck.

"Do not fuck up"

...

"Seems he only applied to one" Sasuke wrote down the address Gaara gave him, circling around other apartments near the one Naruto was trying to get.

"Thanks, Gaara" Sasuke had another paper out, ready to get as much as he could. "Anyone else going for it?"

"I voided the other applications, so only yours and Naruto's has gone through"

"Good, now I can bug his room" Sasuke noted to buy a few, waiting for his friend to confirm the rest.

"I thought you just had to live near him, not with him"

"Hn, I go above and beyond" Sasuke smirked, "Besides, it's not going to be hard to get close to him even if I didn't do this; chances are he's some idiot that just parties, drinks and chases girls, I'll find Minato within a month max" Sasuke scoffed confidently, Gaara gave an unconvinced noise from the other end of the phone.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Uchiha, most people die like that"

"Most people aren't me" Sasuke replied. Before Gaara could respond, Sasuke saw him.

Sasuke's small gasp caught in his throat.

Naruto Namikaze. In the flesh. A boy who harboured CIA criminals and apparently had whisker tattoos on his face. Sasuke wondered if they were gang-related, curiosity riled. For a boy in hiding, he wore loud clothing; red kicks, orange jersey and acid washed jeans. Sasuke's eyes hurt from the neon yellow that was his hair, clearly dyed and obnoxious as hell. Clunky sunglasses hid half his face, but not the striking smile. So, Naruto was this moron? Sasuke bet he'd find Minato within two weeks. The boy then proceeded to trip on his own untied shoelaces.

Make it one week.

"Trust me when I say that this man is an idiot"

"Perhaps it takes one to kno-"

"Watch it" Sasuke growled, hanging up and watching his target greet a pink-haired girl before slamming into a lamp post.

It was just too easy.

...

"Our intel informed us that someone from the CIA is going to be moving in on the Namikaze family" A gravelly voice warned.

"We can't have them getting to Minato! They'll throw him in jail" Another responded.

"Don't worry, our own will be protected" A high pitched woman spoke, "We just need to keep an eye on Minato's boy"

"And I know just how to do it" A deep man spoke, "I, myself, will be taking a personal interest in this matter, the Namikazes will remained untouched"


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke looked over his schedule, he supposed it wasn't too bad, or at least not as time consuming as he initially predicted. Four times a week, half were morning classes, simple enough. Sasuke scoffed at the major. Journalism? Sasuke would laugh every time he saw it, writing what you saw on the news wasn't exactly hard. Sasuke didn't hold journalists in high regard anyway, they worked to panic the masses anyway they could. Sasuke slid the schedule into his bag; journalists made his life harder, now having to live with one would piss him off to no end.

Sasuke arrived outside the apartment, wondering how the palm trees that decorated the front would survive in the upcoming winter. A few memories he spent in the Caribbean as a child with his family surfaced, his brother would climb the palm trees endlessly till the blazing sun had set. Sasuke smiled a little, he always tried to copy, but his little legs barely carried him. Pleasant family memoirs gave him a spring in his step as he entered the tall, white building. Bouncing with boundless summer vibes, Sasuke could see why Naruto applied here and nowhere else. Adjusting the strap on his duffel bag, he approached the grey door adorning a number seven. He patted down his plain t-shirt and jeans, wanting to make a good impression before noticing his door's…art.

Sasuke's eyes squinted at the rough scribbles left by a black sharpie. Smiley faces, a bowl of what seemed to be noodles and what Sasuke could only guess was a fox with nine tails. Brushing his thumb over, the ink was still wet. Apparently this Naruto had a creative streak? Sasuke noticed a vulgar scrawl of a penis and grimaced. Also a crude sense of humor, it would seem. Sasuke took out his key and entered in what he could only describe as a shock to the system.

Within the few hours Naruto had lived here; there were pizza boxes, beer bottles, pot noodles, and a wet dog. The light fixture above had been torn down, the window had many more sharpie doodles, Sasuke wasn't even sure how they got their hands on a traffic cone that laid on the coffee table. What previously seemed like a simple open plan apartment was turned into a tramp's hideout. Sasuke heard the top of the charts music blasting from a speaker, while two boys and a girl created their own individual havoc. Sasuke's mouth was hung open from the endless anarchy. Stepping forward he jumped when he narrowly missed what seemed to be a bullfrog. Sasuke blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't somehow high or had fallen into someone else's place. But he knew that this was the place he was supposed to be.

The blond ball of energy that was currently laughing his head off to what the girl was saying. He was wearing green khaki shorts, no shoes and a short-sleeved red shirt with a long, white one underneath. With a blue necklace and hair just as bright as Sasuke remembered, he was dreading this meeting. As if reading Sasuke's thoughts and ignoring them, the loud man turned with a splitting grin. Skipping over as if he wasn't in a dump heap. He outstretched his hand, the other occupied with a cheap beer.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, you must be my roommate, the landlord told me you'd be coming!" He shouted over the music, Sasuke hesitantly took his hand, his arm immediately shook with too much enthusiasm. "You're not what I expected! It thought Sasuke was a girl's name, to be honest" Sasuke gave a flat stare, wondering how a guy like this could get into college. Naruto's grin remained as Sasuke's silence answered him. Naruto tilted his head a little. "Can you speak English?" Sasuke's face hardened.

"Yes"

"Oh, good! I thought you might've only spoke Chinese or something" Sasuke was struck by another wave of shock, before a bitter rage began to seethe.

"I'm not Chinese"

"But your name is-"

"Japanese" Sasuke cut, giving a bewildered expression at Naruto own unbothered stance, "Your name is Japanese, how did you get it mixed up?" Sasuke questioned, met only with Naruto's puzzled face.

"Naruto is Japanese? I thought it was Puerto Rican"

Words failed Sasuke.

"Dude, you gotta check out our rooms though, it's crazy!" Naruto dragged Sasuke over the mess, beer spilling messily everywhere. Sasuke's lips pulled unpleasantly at the way an abandoned sock soaked it up. Taken into a narrow hallway, Naruto pointed at the middle door, "That's the bathroom, but don't go in there, Milo is sleeping" Sasuke didn't get a chance to find out who that was exactly before being dragged into a small room; holding a dresser, desk, chair and a bed with missing covers. "This is your room, mine's pretty much the same, oh! I borrowed your cover, needed it for a fort" Naruto explained, as if it was perfectly normal.

"A fort?"

"Yeah, come see it" Once more being dragged into Naruto's room. Sasuke looked around, he already turned the place upside down. Posters splattered across the walls, bits and pieces of various sports equipment scattered. Sasuke noticed the empty tank, he guessed the bullfrog's home, Sasuke wondered if Naruto was aware of the no pets rule the landlord had. Thinking little of it, he saw Naruto's fort. A pathetic thing held up with chairs and duct tape. "I was thinking, we could spent the night in there, get to know each other" Naruto shrugged, raising his hand to his head, "Of course, that was the plan before I realised you were a guy..." Naruto gave him a mischievous smirk, "Not that I'm complaining-"

"Actually" Sasuke coughed lightly, "I was hoping to just chill in my own room, I…it's been a long flight"

"Right! From Japan, yeah?" Naruto eagerly awaited his answer like a puppy. Sasuke gave a small nod of his head, taking his portion of the fort and dragging it to his own room. He heard Naruto rushing back to his friends. Sasuke thought he'd check out the deal with the male friend. He also had tattoos on his face, albeit, they were different from Naruto's and instead took the shape of red triangles on his face. The girl looked rough too. Dirty blonde hair divided into four ponytails. He vaguely picked up her name being Temari as Naruto shouted about his name being of Japanese descent to her.

He rolled his eyes and began unpacking. Thankfully, the covers was all that Naruto touched from his room, making it the only livable one in the entire apartment. Sasuke was afraid to even look into the bathroom. He shivered in dread. Setting up bugs would be easy, he could probably chuck it on the floor and it would never be discovered among the trash. Sasuke set to work placing a few in his own room, if Naruto ever decided to confess here instead. Sasuke took a few deep breaths. He only had to get what was needed and get out. He could survive.

Nearly an hour later, Naruto busted in. Sasuke had just finished placing his things as Naruto looked around.

"Hey, dude, Kiba and Temari just left, so I'm kinda bored" Naruto began to rifle through Sasuke's belongings, shamelessly picking up books and flipping through them. "Let me get to know ya, so, what's your major?" Naruto asked as he picked up Sasuke's headphones.

"Journalism" Sasuke took them from Naruto's hand and place it safely away, beyond irked at the invasive nature of this Naruto character. Naruto whipped around so quick Sasuke was afraid he'd snap his own neck.

"Oh my god! Me too!" Naruto bounced over, nearly knocking Sasuke down. "You wanna be a journalist too?!" Sasuke nearly bit back a sarcastic comment, but resisted.

"Yeah, I'm a big Walter Cronkite fan" Sasuke was thankful he had Kakashi, he felt he could navigate any subject with his training.

"That's cool, he made a big difference, I'm gonna do the same some day!" Naruto voiced confidently, Sasuke smiled a little. Perhaps he had judged too quickly, maybe he wasn't as yellow as his hair. "Can I copy your notes?"

Apparently he was.

"We've not even started classes yet"

"Yeah, I know, I mean, for when they do start, I'm not so great with mornings so I'll be conked out till 10am" Naruto explained, Sasuke narrowed his eyes, had this not been a mission he would've given a piece of his mind. Getting into a college and not taking it seriously? The only thing he held less respect for than journalists, were people who didn't work hard yet expected the rewards it yields.

_What a spoiled brat…_

Sasuke gave a tight smile.

"Sure, what are roommates for?" Naruto grinned, pointing back at where Sasuke had stored his headphones.

"Cool, can I borrow those headphones for gym? I broke mine" Naruto was clueless to the absolute fury that was building within Sasuke. Sasuke did not share his things like this. Even his own brother had to respect Sasuke's ruthless boundaries. Once Itachi had used Sasuke's laptop to surf questionable websites, he received a face full of ice water the next morning. It was a loud morning in the Uchiha household that day. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek.

"Why don't you just get some more?" Sasuke gritted out.

"Why would I need to when my roommate has some!" Naruto laughed, slapping Sasuke's shoulder hard enough to bruise. "You're funny, I like you" Naruto plopped down on Sasuke's bed, stretching out like it was his own. "So, Sasuke…" Naruto began, looking around to find a conversation piece. "You got a girl back home in Japan? One of those perfect brides with a paper umbrella?" Sasuke's eye twitched. "Ahh, I'm just messing with you, I learnt my lesson after Mulan"

"Mulan is Chinese"

"Oh shit, really? Sorry, I swear I'm not a racist"

"Just a moron"

"Whoa, chill" Naruto laughed nervously, "I wont make anymore jokes then" Naruto stood up, opting out of the conversation. "Er, nice to meet you, Sasuke" Sasuke watched him leave awkwardly, Sasuke scoffed. Stuck not only with a tramp, but a moronic and racially insensitive tramp.

You'd think people would cut that shit out in the 21st century…

Sasuke watched noon turn lilac, resting away the sun with a softness only the sky could muster. Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, he was hoping to shower, but was half afraid he'd find vomit in the bathroom. Not to mention that 'Milo' was still inhabiting it, Sasuke settled for mouthwash and spitting out the window. He wiped his mouth bitterly, yanking his shirt off and kicking off his jeans. He chucked them into the hamper before pulling on loose bottoms. Huffing he slid into bed, deciding to retry tomorrow. He needed to get close to Naruto. He could endure the mess, the stupidity and just as long as he could sleep it away at night.

Though it was 2 in the morning and it seemed that wouldn't be happening either.

Jumping awake to the sound of crashing chairs, Sasuke instantly was on guard. He reached for his gun hidden beneath the bed, cocking it before slowly easing to his door. Ready for whatever Akatsuki would throw at him.

"Milo, calm down! I have some corn for you!"

"CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK!"

Except that.

Sasuke placed his gun on the side before ripping the door open, watching Naruto run after a chicken in his underwear. Sasuke stared on silently, considering ending Naruto's life and making a meal out of the chicken. Instead, he stalked over, avoiding the mess beneath his feet.

"Naruto" Sasuke pushed out through a tight jaw, Naruto looked over casually, "Why is there a chicken running wild in our apartment?" Naruto gave him a surprised expression, as if Sasuke was the crazy one.

"I told you, this is Milo" Sasuke folded his arms and cocked his hip, "I'm babysitting him, he's upset"

"He's not the only one!"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not too fussed about it" Naruto waved off, Sasuke had to stop himself from spluttering out obscenities. Naruto had a hand full of corn and was attempting to coax the chicken into coming closer.

"Our class is tomorrow morning, Naruto! You're not even supposed to have pets!" Naruto pouted at him, Sasuke found it ugly on his features.

"Milo is a friend!" Naruto shouted back, Sasuke threw his hands into the air. Turning back to ignore him. Sasuke managed to finally sleep that night, after a torturous hour of endless clucking and Naruto's ceaseless attempts to calm that damn chicken down. It took every last drop of his willpower to not pistol whip him.

"CLUCK!"

Or turn that thing into a roast dinner.

…

Sasuke shifted awake to the sound of his alarm, the clock read 6am and he was thankful for it. Early morning was a peace of mind for him, such a strange and delicate time that Sasuke had learned to love. Birds chirping, the strange colours in the sky. Sasuke could never quite put it into words, but he felt as if there was a promise in the early of day, as if he had all the time in the world to do as he pleased. Sasuke lived for it. He happily stretched out, reaching over to turn off his alarm before his door slammed open.

Sasuke jumped in shock, seeing Naruto visually distressed and with a manic expression on his face. With a sight pant, he looked over the verge of murder. With Sasuke the victim.

"Dude, it is way too early for your fucking alarm to be going off" Naruto's voice was rough, nowhere near the bubbly tone it usually carried. Smirking, Sasuke decided to start his morning with a little petty revenge.

"Oh, don't worry, Naruto, I'm not too fussed about it" Sasuke drawled out deliberately, Naruto stared at him before giving a fake laugh.

"Aha" Naruto stomped back off to his room, grumbling under his breath about freaky bastards. Sasuke brushed it off, thinking he'd just give a fake apology later, problem solved. Traversing to the bathroom, he was relieved to find it was mostly intact. With a few shampoo bottles scattered and the floor wet, Sasuke was just content to not find any of Milo's droppings. Sasuke looked over at the chicken nestled in the torn curtain shower, he sighed and shook his head.

"I can't believe he has a-"

"Ribbit"

"Of course" Sasuke grunted, looking down to see the frog lounging around in the sink. The water filled for his own personal bath. Sasuke snorted, he couldn't deny the humour in seeing a little frog waddle. With a soft spot for animals, (when they weren't waking him up in the dead of the night) he gently cradled the frog, placing it on the side and beginning his morning routine. After he was finished, he eased the frog back into the sink with fresh water.

Getting dressed for class, he noticed Naruto was yet to emerge from his room. Sasuke glanced at the time and sighed, he supposed he should get the moron to class. Knocking lightly on his door.

"Hey, Naruto, class starts in twenty minutes, you getting up?" Sasuke heard a muffled gurgle and sighed, "I'll take that as a no" Sasuke needed to be around Naruto, but he couldn't just stay and skip class. Frowning as he knew scholarship kids get less leniency, he dragged himself over to class, leaving the sleepy blond behind.

Entering the relatively small lecture hall, he saw most of the wooden seats were filled with chatty students. Inwardly cursing as he didn't feel any urge to know these people. Though he wasn't about to let his mission be jeopardised by his asocial behaviour. Eyes grazing over potential seats, one stood one. The back middle held a few students, though a quiet boy was reading through a book, a calm yet approachable demeanour. Perfect. Sasuke made his way over and sat next to him, a quick glance over revealed the boy with a thick ponytail was reading Lord of the Flies.

"Which part you on?" Sasuke asked, without a beat the other spoke.

"Roger has just dropped the boulder"

"Hn, love to do that to my roommate right about now" Sasuke saw the boy raise a brow at him. "Sasuke Taka, freshman" Sasuke reached out, the boy took it.

"Shikamaru Nara, reluctant freshman" It was Sasuke's turn to raise an eyebrow, "I was offered a job with the Associated Press, but the editor can't take me on unless I get my degree" He explained, Sasuke gave an empathetic look.

"Perhaps you could write an article on it"

"I plan to" His voice laced frustration and promise. Alleviated of some of his stress, Sasuke managed to find someone mildly interesting. "So" He began, placing his book down, "You're a fan of William Golding?"

"Only Lord of the Flies, but I do appreciate he wrote the book of out pure spite for his students" Sasuke noted that Shikamaru had a subtle smile, not too overbearing or wide. If Sasuke wasn't dedicated to his job, he'd consider asking him out. Often accused as a workaholic by Suigetsu, his romantic interests had often been fleeting. With Sasuke too invested in his cases, the few men that had kept his attention soon weren't enough. Suigetsu's comment to go 'get laid' on his first mission still burned in the back of his head. It had been a while...but he wasn't about to be distracted.

"Honestly, teaching sounds like a drag, you have to be a certain kind of strange to do it"

As if on cue, a tall man sauntered in. Greasy black hair that drooped past down his hands, contrasting with the sickly paleness he wore. With his yellowish eyes and sharp nose pointed, Sasuke never saw a man look so...unhuman. Sasuke narrowed his eyes, even from a distance he knew the man didn't take a shower. Though it seemed his rancid clothing followed the same level of hygiene, marked with coffee stains and sweat spots. Familiar thoughts ran through Shikamaru's head as they exchanged a look.

Swinging towards the students dramatically, all had hushed as the man leered ominously.

"Good morning, students, it's quite..." He stopped, licking his chapped lips languidly, his eyes flickered between the seats, "...exciting to be here" An uncomfortably stretched pause pulled before he swished around to his large whiteboard. "My name is Orochimaru, I am your instructor for this course in Journalism" Writing out his name on the board. Sasuke felt Shikamaru lean closer for a moment.

"Like I said"

Sasuke chuckled, watching the weirdo teacher bring up a PowerPoint.

"I will be your morning classes on Monday and Wednesday while Iruka, your other teacher, will teach your afternoons on Wednesdays and Thursdays" Orochimaru turned his head to give a sadistic smile, "I believe the youths of todays need more discipline, so you're welcome for the morning classes" He was answered with a series of groans and a few bold curses. Sasuke felt no way about it, but he never was a fan of vindictive men. Sasuke stared hard as Orochimaru enjoyed the sneers from his students. Sasuke made a conscious decision to stay away. "With me, you shall have the privilege of learning the history behind Journalism, the greats from my generation and the influe-"

"I'm here!" Naruto busted in, panting as his bright red backpack match his face in colour. Orochimaru viewed him for a moment before resuming his speech.

"And the influences that made Journalism what it is today, what is your name?" Naruto jumped a little, for a split second he thought he could peacefully walk to a seat unscathed. Naruto changed the weight onto his other foot before smiling nervously.

"Naruto" Orochimaru's face remained expectant before Naruto understood, "Um, Uzumaki, Naruto Uzumaki"

"Mr. Uzumaki, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"W-What?"

"Do you have a plan after college, Mr. Uzumaki or do you intend on just partying the next three years away?" Some giggles were heard through the classroom and Naruto fought down an embarrassed blush, Sasuke admitted that he felt some level of satisfaction in watching the freak belittle Naruto. "Who do you want to work for?" Naruto managed to produce a real answer this time.

"PBS, they're non-bias" Naruto stated with a matter of fact tone, Orochimaru's unimpressed demeanour prevailed.

"Do you know what you need to work for PBS as journalist with no experience?" Before Naruto could respond, he spoke over him, "Of course not, you need a great experimental portfolio and two strong recommendations, with two journalism teachers, can you do the math on how many you need from us?" Naruto was silent, Sasuke wondered if he would snap. He'd certainly enjoy the entertainment. "If you want a good recommendation, you need to be a good student, so instead of lazing around in bed, you will turn up on time or I will drop you from my class, do you understand or should I repeat it slower this time?" Orochimaru was an ass, a condescending ass and if Sasuke wasn't so pissed with Naruto, he'd stand up for him.

"Okay, he gets it, are you gonna teach us or not?" A feisty blonde girl snapped, Sasuke only saw her from behind, but he could tell she was a fashionable girl. Wearing a Supreme sports bra and purple cut-off jeans, her long hair rivalled their teacher. He gave her an agitated glare, but it seemed she wasn't backing down.

"Go take a seat, Mr. Uzumaki" Naruto rushed to sit next to the blonde girl who defended him, they shared a smile as Orochimaru began to rant again. Sasuke supposed Naruto had a new friend. In hindsight, he might've fucked himself. He chewed on his pen, realising that he had missed an opportunity.

He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

...

Sasuke was surprised to find that he actually...enjoyed the class. Orochimaru himself continued to be obnoxious, but Sasuke couldn't deny that the rich life of Joseph Pulitzer and Benjamin Harris was interesting. Nor could he quell the excitement over Orochimaru's promise to go over America's most influential papers. Shikamaru had been more titillating the more he spoke, finding out that he was tackling the 'One Hundred Books to Read' challenge, almost halfway through and thinking of doing another hundred after he'd finish. It was a shame, Sasuke had thought, that he couldn't truly befriend the man.

Disgruntled after seeing Naruto run off with the blonde girl, knowing he wasn't welcome just yet, but he would be soon.

He returned to his apartment, screwing his face that the scent that had developed. Pushing past it and going to his room instead. Sasuke halted, seeing that his room had clearly been rummaged through. Cursing, he dove under his bed, frantically searching for his gun. A wash of relief waved over once his fingers touched the cool metal. Had they been robbed? Sasuke's frown deepened, there was no way he'd set off the Akatsuki, right? Hearing the door open and Naruto talking, Sasuke paused his thoughts. Withdrawing his hand quickly, he came over to the living room.

"Naruto, you didn't leave the door unlocked, did you?" Sasuke asked, while Naruto waved him off and continued to talk to whoever on the phone.

"Yup, just bring those over too, great! See you Friday!" Naruto hung up the phone and paid Sasuke attention. "Hm?"

"My room's messed up, someone came into our place, did you not lock the door?" Sasuke stared at Naruto confused expression before he smiled coyly.

"Ah, actually, I couldn't find my notebook so I borrowed one from you" Naruto held up a leather notebook, Sasuke became inflamed. That was a good luck gift from Kakashi. Marching over, he snatched it away from Naruto and glared.

"I'm not surprised, you can't find anything in this mess!"

"Whoa, calm down, I ended up not writing in it, that dickweed of a teacher didn't even teach us anything" Sasuke let out a shout of frustration, whipping around and stomping off. Naruto rubbed the back of his head, hearing the bathroom door slam shut.

"What a bitch"

The warm water running down his back carried the stress of the day, finally happy to be having a shower with no wild animals joining him. Sasuke ran his hands through his thick locks lazily, enjoying his minty soap and it's calming scent.

_How inconsiderate can a person be?_

Turning his face towards the showerhead, the intense pressure made his shoulders go slack. His previous fury began to ebb away, Sasuke knew he wasn't getting anywhere with him, but how could he?! Every time he relaxed, his roommate would burst the bubble with another infuriating trait. Sasuke needed to find a solution, internally whining would solve nothing. Perhaps he was just a teen who was enjoying his first taste of freedom, working off steam under no parental supervision. It was feasible that Naruto just needed to get it all out, Sasuke could be patient.

"Don't mind me!" Naruto swung open the door, hopping over to the toilet. Sasuke yelped and nearly slipped, grabbing the green, shower curtain and poking his head around.

"What the fuck?! Get out!"

"I need to piss! I've drank, like, three Gatorades todays! And you're taking forever" Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Okay, we need to have a serious talk at one point about boundaries" Sasuke stressed, Naruto gave an non-committal grunt. Sasuke huffed, angrily waiting as Naruto finished urinating. Naruto zipped up his cargo shorts and was about to leave before grinning, he forcefully pushed the flusher. Sending Sasuke into a fit of screams. "Fuck! Y-You fucktard! Why'd you do that?!" Sasuke's skin was scorched red as he shoved his head around the curtain, "Are you trying to give me third degree burns?!" He screeched, Naruto's shit-eating grin only served to pissed him off more.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Sasuke! My complete and utter sincere apologies" Naruto taunted, Sasuke's venomous glare did little to sway Naruto, sauntering out the bathroom giddily. Sasuke growled viciously.

Oh, he'd be sorry, alright. Throwing him and his entire family in jail is going to feel so damn satisfying.

...

Sasuke decided to ignore Naruto as he went out for food shopping, returning to find the nightmare had done some of his own. Half the room filled with beers, spirits, alcopops, and a Naruto rolling a joint up. He stared for moment, on the verge of truly losing his mind as Naruto continued to pay him little attention, his fingers steady with practised ease.

"Don't you know you're not supposed to do drugs on campus?" Sasuke scoffed, noticing Naruto's lack of interest in his warning.

"You should have some, it might loosen you up enough for that stick in your ass to fall out" Naruto remarked, Sasuke gave a pinched leer.

"It's not a surprise the dumbass is also a pothead"

"Bitch"

"Asshole"

Sasuke put away his food, ignoring Naruto's smoking and hoped it would just keep him quiet. A little time had passed, Sasuke took to cooking a late lunch. He heard Naruto call over to him. Huffing, he turned, hand on hip. Naruto's slightly red eyes trailed over the movement.

"I've having a few friends come over on Friday...so, um, yeah" Naruto indicated towards the stacks of what Sasuke could only imagine was a gruesome hangover. Though with Naruto's awkward silence, Sasuke realised what he was getting at.

"Wow, you're banning me from my own place?" Naruto stiffly fiddled with his joint, the small decency to look guilty.

"No! Just, I mean, if you were to stay in your room, we wouldn't be bothering you and-" Sasuke cut him off with grabbing his food and retreating to his room. Naruto cringed at the door slamming, it was becoming too much of an occurrence for his taste. Naruto slid further down the sofa, turning his attention to the TV and grinning, watching Ross once again yelled at by some woman. Naruto giggled, soon forgetting his roommate's tantrum.

"Oh Ross, buddy, I know how you feel" Laughing loudly at another joke made, but the earlier tension sat in the back of his mind. He held no ill feelings towards Sasuke, but he felt like he was always against him. Naruto couldn't shake the feeling that...

He shook his head, no, it had been years, he needed to let go of the paranoia.

...

The days leading up to Friday were, for lack of a better word, stressed. Sasuke and Naruto clashed heads violently, two raging bulls seeing red. Naruto had kept up his habit of stealing Sasuke's things and eating his food. Sasuke had chucked an empty bottle of Lucozade at Naruto's head, shouting yet again about putting back finished things. There was no moment between them was wasn't graced with argument. Between Sasuke hogging the bathroom in the morning after claiming it first and Naruto blasting music late into the night with friends, both boys had nurtured a special kind of hate for each other. Inevitably, they began to compete in every way. Small things such a finishing dinner to being the person who studied the longest. Often rushing to class to beat the other, many bruises appeared on their arms from the forceful shoving. With no access to his friends, Sasuke had little time to vent out his frustration.

In the local gym, weirdly named Pump Factory, Sasuke's feet pounded against the treadmill. His shallow breathes served well to distract him, face reddening with a warm slick of sweat developing healthily. He had kept his pace up well, his lungs began to fill with that pleasant tingle. His casual sweats and blue shirt stuck like a second skin, many girls had approached him only to be ignored. A too friendly male trainer had been persistent in talking to him every time he came. Sasuke had little patience with the man, he'd introduced himself as Hidan when Sasuke was in the middle of changing once, permanently freaking him out. Repeatedly talking about his weird religion and dedication to his body, Sasuke considered pity fucking him to get him to leave.

"You got to fucking kidding me" Sasuke turned to see Naruto screwing up his face at the treadmill in front of him, "This is the only free one?" Sasuke glared at him, scoffing at his gym shorts and sleeveless hoodie.

"Feel free to fuck off" He hissed, Naruto shot back an equally spiteful scowl, denying Sasuke any peace and hopping on the neighbouring treadmill. He began to run, till Sasuke saw his speed and gave him a belittling look. Naruto growled and punched in a higher speed, throwing a smug look in return. Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned his speed up. As did Naruto. This repeated till some people began to stare, the two maniacs were at full speed and hammering the poor treadmills into the ground. Glancing at one another, seeing who would give first; eyes, bodies and minds heated.

"I used to run track in high school, you're fucked" Naruto panted out, Sasuke snorted. Did this fool think high school track held a flame to his years of CIA training? He couldn't exactly tell him that, but proving it would be no problem.

"You looked like you've been fucked from how pathetic you run" Naruto's already crimson face couldn't turn redder, but Sasuke knew it would. Be it from embarrassment or pure rage. Naruto knew the treadmill was at its limit, but that didn't stop his finger pressing harder on the button to prove a point.

"Watch how it's done, bastard"

What Naruto didn't know was that holding down on the button would stop it.

But Sasuke did.

Laughing as Naruto's treadmill stop and flung himself over, squawking in surprise. His shoe getting caught and being torn from his foot. With one leg caught in the bars and his body angled upside down, the shoe fell and hit his face. Sasuke gracefully jumped off, leaning against the treadmill. Looking down at him with the most satisfied, egotistical smirk that Naruto ever laid his eyes on.

"Well, you certainly showed me" Sasuke mocked, Naruto grumbled under his breath. A personal trainer coming over to help as Sasuke stalked off, Naruto gradually followed with a small limp. Suffering the walk of shame from a few guys who laughed at his misfortune, his cheeks felt hot the further he hobbled.

But it was Friday. Tonight he could dish out his own revenge. Loud, drunken revenge.

...

Sasuke ripped the pillow from his head. No amount of fluffy covers could suffocate the booming bass being blasted from Naruto's speaker. Naruto had invited every person he ever met, giving them all endless alcohol and an order to party as hard as possible. It had been going on for hours. Sasuke had to lock his door after two horny freshman attempted to screw in his room. Sasuke demanded Naruto to turn it down, but was answered with Naruto doing the opposite. Looking over at his clock, once again awake at 2am because of that bastard.

The mess, the stealing, the pot, the friends, the everything. Sasuke was losing it. Heart beating violently from raw emotion alone, he ripped back his covers and stormed out his room. Drunk students moving from his destructive path lest they themselves be destroyed. Sasuke saw hot white. Naruto was on the coffee table with a random guy, dancing away with no cares in the world. The blood boiling beneath his skin threaten to spill out. A tightness in his chest enough to fuel a massacre, to rip everyone to shreds.

He snapped.

Sasuke picked up an abandoned can of Fosters, violently hurling it towards Naruto. It caught him by the head and aroused an audience of 'Oh's. Naruto slowly turned, a bewildered look on his face which turned sour. Someone devilishly turned the music down, everyone's attention drawn.

"Of fucking course"

"Where the hell do you get off pulling this shit?! Pissing me off is one thing, but to take this far is out of order!" Sasuke screeched, face enflamed scarlet. Naruto chucked his drink onto the sofa, staining it even more. Sasuke pulled at his hair, "That's a another thing! You're a fucking slob, you stew in your own filth and it's disgusting, it's like living with human-sized maggot, but with half the brain cells" An echo of small laughs and gasps surrounded them. Naruto's face scrunched up, jumping from the table with a glare.

"At least people actually like me, you're a buzzkill who overreacts to everything!"

"And you're a future drop-out who's only shot at journalism is writing bad jokes in a Playboy!" Another round of reactions from onlookers made Naruto's shoulders hunch up.

"Yeah, well, you would know! Since you're obviously just a sad virgin, the only pussy you've ever touched was your mom's when you was born!" A few encouraging shouts and Sasuke lost the last bit of composure he had.

"I have never met someone as inconsiderate, ignorant or moronic as you! And when you end up dead, I swear I'll only be sad that I wasn't the one who did it!" Sasuke roared, Naruto marched forward, staring down at the furious male.

"What is your problem with me?! It's like you hated me before you got here! I tried to be nice to you, but you're fucking impossible!" Naruto bellowed, Sasuke scoffed.

"Nice?!" Sasuke's shouldered slacked, his face dropped emotion and Naruto was struck for a moment. This was the calmest he ever saw Sasuke, the plain mask and silence felt strange somehow. "You know what, you're right" Sasuke placed his hands on his hips, "I should be nice the exact same way you was to me" He turned, striding towards Naruto's speaker and wrenching it away from the wall. Naruto's eye nearly popped out of his sockets, with many of the students complaining as the music was cut.

"Dude! You're gonna break it!" He waved frantically as Sasuke strode over to the window.

"Oh, that won't break it" Sasuke yanked open the window, raising his arm and the level of noise in the room, "This will!" He threw with all the strength in his arm, despite Naruto's squeals and yelling. The speaker smashed against the ground below, Naruto shot across the room. Jaw nearly hitting the floor, gawking at the pitiful broken pieces of his prized speaker.

"You fucker!" Naruto whipped around, watching Sasuke tread back to his room, ignoring the shocked faces around him.

"Enjoy your party!" He sang out spitefully, swaying back to his room. Naruto's fists clenched tight.

One thought in the air and one promise made.

This was _war._

**Please enjoy and please leave a review! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke had screwed up.

He knew he had. Grimacing as memories of last night stubbornly remained, intent on punishing him for his more than immature actions. Left staring up at the ceiling, the past hour had been far too quiet, an ugly contrast to the previous racket. Anger had kept him up, till it melted down to contemplation, then eventually, regret. Regardless of personal feelings, he should've acted like he didn't care. Acted like a friend, not a reluctant roommate. He roughly ran his hands over his face, eyes sore and what he could only imagine were raccoon-esque. Sasuke's eyes wondered over to his alarm, watching it absentmindedly till it would hit six. The alarm brayed and Sasuke quickly switched it off, thinking over his next course of action as he headed to the bathroom.

Naruto was pissed at him, that he could gather. While somewhat justified, Sasuke still found it infuriating. Honestly, he should've considered mirroring Naruto's behaviour. Getting drunk, high and sleeping in with him. Being relatable, just as carefree as him. Miserably turning the shower on, he wondered what Kakashi would think of him now. Putting his own comforts before the mission.

No wonder he held back on giving me my own mission...

Sasuke's face screwed a little, knowing that his mentor wouldn't appreciate the pity party. No. This time, he had to actually take direct action. Get Naruto on his side. Get the information. Get serious. Sasuke was a self-acclaimed go getter and now was the time to prove it. It had been easy enough with Shikamaru, only getting closer the past week during classes, he needed to apply the same effort with Naruto. Squirting his shampoo on, he considered buying Naruto a new speaker.

That was till his noise was filled with a sour smell. He turned around, wondering if Naruto was up and making some type of egg and cheese breakfast. He gagged, the scent was far too close to be from the kitchen. With horror, he raised his hand to his head, a cold and slimy goo sat on top. Quietly lowering his hand, he stared at the substance that was not turning into minty bubbles. Hesitantly sniffing, he retched instantly. Mayonnaise. Spoilt mayonnaise. Attempting not to hurl as he vigorously scrubbed his head, thick chunks dripping from head and plopping disgustingly onto the bath. Stealing some of Naruto's own tropical shampoo to rid himself of the rotten scent.

Once satisfied, he ripped a towel from the side, wrapping on as he kicked down Naruto's door. Said blond jumped in bed, a little shocked to see Sasuke standing wet and half naked. A deer caught in the headlights of a monster truck.

"Rotten mayo?!" He bellowed, Naruto stared at him for a moment before wide grin took over his face, lazily resting on his arm.

"I thought about putting in ketchup, but I found a jar of the stuff in the back of my closet" Sasuke's nose scrunched up in revulsion. Naruto's gratified grin served only to piss Sasuke off more.

"I'm gonna kick your ass" Sasuke threatened, Naruto pinched his lips.

"Do that and I'll report you" He responded, as if baiting Sasuke into do just that. Sasuke's fists shook, turning whiter than normal. "You could always move out though"

"Screw you, I'm not going anywhere" Sasuke hissed, swinging around and marching back to his door, "Watch your back, Uzumaki! You might find a knife in it one day!" Naruto had expected as much, he laid on his back and scowled. Getting rid of him would be harder than he thought. He was stubborn, nearly as much as him. Naruto grinned. But not quite as much. Naruto could get worse, the prankster in him dancing in excitement at the prospect. Unfortunately for him, however...

So could Sasuke

...

He realised that fact soon, the very same morning as he entered the bathroom. Chuckling away as he looked over at the binned shampoo bottle. Sliding down his jogging bottoms, he wondered what else he could pull on Sasuke. Perhaps flour over the door? His mind happily went over the juvenile possibilities, till his feet began to feel warm and wet.

"What the fuck?!" Rapidly stepping back as piss spread across the toilet, in his frantic speed, he slipped, landing wetly on his back, "Fuck! Ugh, god! Fuck!" The scent of urine invaded his nostrils, he quickly squirmed up. Narrowing his eyes at the toilet that had been covered in cling film, wildly tearing his stained bottoms off. "That little bitch, so fucking gross, I swear-" He uttered madly, eye twitching at the sound of Sasuke's arrogant laughter. Haughty and grating on his nerves. Naruto knew he wouldn't be holding back. Small pranks he would play among friends held no place here, he'd release the full fury of his unyielding wrath and pranks he dubbed too harmful. It sure seemed that Sasuke wasn't going to hold back.

So neither would he.

...

Shikamaru took a long drag from his cigarette, slowly closing his eyes as the smoke travelled through his lungs. He rolled his neck a few times, releasing the tension that had been building. The rough brick wall behind him held him up, his shoulders slacked and free of care. The closest thing to it was his new antsy friend. Sasuke's arms were folded, waiting on Shikamaru restlessly.

"Class is in five minutes, can't you it hurry up?"

"Honestly, I barely have the energy for class today, I might head home, it's not difficult material" Sasuke frowned at him, Shikamaru was brilliant, no doubt about it. Enough that Sasuke allowed himself to get closer, having a sane friend would make his time here easy. His lazy companion had taken Sasuke's rants about Naruto in stride. Even laughing at how Sasuke chucked the speaker.

"Even if that's true, you should go, you don't want Orochimaru ripping you up like he does Naruto" Sasuke pointed out, Shikamaru didn't respond immediately, rolling his cigarette as he remained deep in thought.

"Speaking of that..." He shifted around, considering his words carefully, "Orochimaru pays...a lot of attention to Naruto, any excuse to keep him after class or talk to him in private" Sasuke blinked in surprise. Sure, Orochimaru was hard on Naruto, but Sasuke found himself mostly not caring.

"It's not surprising, Orochimaru find Naruto even more annoying than I do" Sasuke waved off, Shikamaru's expression told him he wasn't convinced, but that wasn't on his mind, wiped away quickly. "Anyway, if you need the energy that bad, I have a coke" Getting down on his knees as he swung his bag forward. Sasuke rifled through his bag, taking out the drink and screwing it, "This should he-whoa!" The bottle violently fizzed over, shooting up and drenching Sasuke's face and shirt, Shikamaru's eyes widened as he took a step back. Sasuke chucked it on the floor, furiously wiping away the overactive drink from his face.

"You alright?"

"I-yeah, fuck, what the hell was that?" Sasuke shoved his bag away, cursing as his books were victims to the attack. Shikamaru gingerly picked up the bottle, tipping out the rest and raising an eyebrow.

"I think I found out" Sasuke's brow scrunched up as he approached whatever Shikamaru had discovered.

"Is...that a mento?"

"It would appear so" Shikamaru was slightly worried over the vein that was pulsing in Sasuke's forehead. "You...think Naruto did this?"

"I know he did" Sasuke took his bag and stormed over to class, a wary Shikamaru following behind. As Sasuke entered with his hair dripping wet, Naruto's outburst of laughter came after. The blonde girl next to him had a humoured smile, but didn't say anything. Naruto was much less dignified, pointing with his head thrown back.

"Damn, Sasuke! I didn't know you were a cokehead, pfft! Get it, Ino?" Naruto nudged the girl, she rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat.

"You're a genius" She remarked, eyeing Sasuke as he traversed to the back of the class. Ino caught the look of vengeance in his eyes. Chuckling, she just hoped she had front row seats.

...

Naruto hummed lightly, entering his apartment and walking over to his room. Till a pleasant and heavenly sweet scent filled the room. He moonwalked back in his ridiculous fashion, turning to see tempting plate of sugar donuts.

"Ah, dude, sweet!" Naruto saw the small note attached underneath, picking it up he scoffed, "Don't touch these while I'm out, asshole" He read aloud, he ignorantly flicked it away and greedily grabbed a donut. Shoving it into his mouth as quick as he could, grabbing another in an attempt to ruin every single one for Sasuke. His hand halted, a strange sensation travelled across his gums. Slowly burning and rising in heat. His eyes shot open. Spitting out the doughy pieces and attempting to scrap out the itchiness in his mouth. "Ah! Ah! Fuuuuck!" He shot across to the sink, filling his mouth and spitting out what he assumed was itching powder. The flesh on his hands grating off as he vigorously ached to remove whatever Sasuke had tricked him with.

"I told you not to touch them" Sasuke's smug voice came through, Naruto rumbled a curse before spitting water at Sasuke's feet.

"You're dead"

...

The pranks that continued worsened in brutality. Naruto put super glue in the hand soap, forcing Sasuke to stay home that day. Removing the icky and rough glue from his hands till the afternoon hit. However, Sasuke retaliated by replacing Naruto's roll on deodorant with cream cheese. Naruto retorted by putting baby powder in the hairdryer. Sasuke retaliated later that night by chucking out all his instant ramen. Sending Naruto into a frenzy and ripping Sasuke's headphones in half. They had argued loud enough for the cops to be called that night, so now they grumpily sat as two police officers spoke to them about neighbour etiquette.

"Now, boys, I'm going to go calm down Mrs. Bruno and assure her that there isn't a murder going on, but the next time will be more than a warning, there will be a fine, do you understand?" The officer pointed her pen towards their abashed face, they nodded and muttered in agreement. She left and left the other policeman to finish.

"This is your fault" Sasuke scoffed, Naruto narrowed his eyes and snapped.

"Me? You're the one who threw the bitch fit"

"Boys" The remaining officer intervened, he gave them a sympathetic look. "Look, I have a wife at home and when we disagree on something, we always try to work it out, find a common ground" He closed his pad and gave a nod, "Have a quiet night, you seem like a nice couple, don't let a few tiffs get in the way of that" Naruto's face reddened as the man walked away. He stood and squeaked.

"W-We're not together!" He huffed out, Sasuke rolled his eyes, reclining back into the couch.

"Please, you'd be lucky if you got someone half as good as me" Sasuke flipped his bang, ignoring the way Naruto pursed his lips unattractively.

"How about I have you right now?!" Naruto yelled, both boy's eyes widened, "I meant-I didn't mean, not like...that" Naruto's rubbed the back of his head, Sasuke shifted on the sofa, opting to look out the window instead of responding. The police partners watching from the door amused.

"How long before they hook-up?" The woman chuckled, the other merely sighed and departed. A small bet was made among them; one betted two weeks and the other a month. Sasuke and Naruto kept their silence, not in the mood for another ranting neighbour or visit from the police. It was late, neither wanted to start up another war till tomorrow. Naruto stood at his door entrance, whipping around with his face still red.

"I don't think you're hot or anything! So, don't get any ideas!" He accused, Sasuke's tired face just raised a brow.

"Trust me, I'd be equally as disgusted" Sasuke stalked into his room, "But if I ever need nightmare fuel, I'll be sure to imagine it" Sasuke called back, Naruto blew a raspberry at him childishly. Naruto slammed the door, his cheeks still heated. His head rested dejectedly against it, he considered calling over Haku for a quickie, but he wasn't entirely sure if he'd come so late. Naruto groaned, with the stress of Sasuke, he wasn't entirely sure he would come at all...

"Fuck, I need a fuck" He worded eloquently, squeezing his tense shoulder he slinked into bed. He needed to piss Sasuke off enough to get him to leave. Naruto sat up quick. Actually, there was something that made him lose his cool before. The party noise kept him up and made him snap. Naruto pulled out his phone and began messaging away, a smirk on his face. "I'll teach that bastard"

...

Sasuke sighed, the sight of his alarm displaying 2am was becoming too familiar. Once again, Naruto had someone in his room and was intent on letting Sasuke know that. Loud moans filled the apartment, the walls too thin and brittle to protect Sasuke from every hit Naruto made. The past few nights had been nothing but Naruto walking in floozies and banging the night away. Sasuke knew it was to spite him; leaving doors open and often screwing someone on the sofa. He even had to throw away his own sheets after he saw what they were doing on them. And tonight was another one of those nights.

But he waited patiently, because it would be different this time. Naruto had brought the poor girl in around ten minutes ago, and any second now there would be a-

"Fuck! Ow! Get out of me!" Her voice screamed, Sasuke chuckled as he heard the girl shoot from Naruto's room in pain. He didn't want to hurt an innocent person, but she was just collateral damage.

"Baby! Wait! What's wrong?!"

"I'm burning up, you asshole! What the fuck was wrong with that lube?!" She screeched, secluding herself to the bathroom. Crying from inside, Naruto was silent. He looked down at the lube and noticed something he didn't in the dark. Gripping it harshly, it kicked banged down Sasuke's door.

"This is meant to stay between us! Britney didn't do anything!"

"My name is Katy, you sonofabitch!" The girl yelled, Sasuke laughed loudly. Naruto shot back an apology and gave a rough kick to Sasuke's door.

"You're lucky you have a lock or I'd-" Sasuke opened the door, arms folded. Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Or you'd what?" Sasuke scoffed, as if he had been threatened by a mere child. His confident stance was enough to ward Naruto off. Grumbling as he left, attempting to console the girl through the door. Sasuke shut his door and happily flopped into bed, knowing that Naruto would eventually get the message. He had grown up with a merciless brother, this was nothing.

Of course, Naruto wasn't able to convince the girl to stay as she stormed out the apartment, groaning as he was stuck with blue balls for the night. Too agitated to even finish the job himself. Naruto huffed in disappointed as he picked up the panty vibrator he had intended to use, a small but powerful helper. He went to tuck it away for another type, but halted, picking up its remote and concocting a scheme. He grinned. Sasuke does need to loosen up...

The prank kept going over his mind, now sitting in Iruka's class. Leg bouncing repeatedly, sending Ino crazy. But he couldn't help it, humiliation in its ultimate form, all eyes would be on Sasuke. Or at least the teacher's. Burning holes into the back of Sasuke's head, he could barely contain his jumpy nerves. He had checked Sasuke's drawer before they left, he was definitely wearing them. Naruto's hand slid into his pocket, itching to slam the button at full force. It might wound Sasuke's pride, but not kill it. As everyone finished their personal presentation to Iruka bit by bit, Sasuke's name was finally called out. Naruto's finger twitched, watching the oblivious boy walk down the stairs and stand in front of Iruka.

"Hope you enjoy" Naruto muttered, sliding the button and watching Sasuke immediately flinch and stiffen. Iruka raised an eyebrow, Sasuke had gasped and stopped talking.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Iruka frowned, "You're face has gone red, do you want to take your jacket off?" Sasuke gulped, shifting around and trying to calm down.

"Um, I...I'm just under the-ah!" Sasuke jumped, Naruto had flickered the button higher, supressing his giggles. "Under the weather and um, I just..." Sasuke cleared his throat, using one of his papers to discretely hide his growing problem. "I, er, well...um..." All words escaped him, his mind working overtime to not buckle. Iruka tilted his head sympathetically.

"If you need some more time to complete the presentation, I'll gladly extend the time"

"No! I mean, that's very kind, but I've-ngh!" Sasuke hung his head to hide his face, "C-Can I be excused for a moment?" He begged, Naruto saw the small audience of students that had taken interest in Sasuke's strange movements. Iruka gave Sasuke a reassuring nod, watching him bolt out the classroom. Naruto planted his head on the desk to muffle his laughter, Ino poked him.

"What? Spill it!" Ino demanded, Naruto just turned his head with his cheeks bright. "Did you have something to do with that?" Naruto held his hand up, waving for Iruka's attention.

"Teach, he's been sick since this morning, I'm his friend and roommate, can I go check on him?" Naruto lied, Ino raised a brow as Iruka accepted, as long as he came back soon. Naruto skipped out the lecture hall, betting anything that Sasuke was in the bathroom down the hall.

Sasuke rushed to check the stalls, thanking whoever above that it was empty. He rested his sweaty palms against the marble, splashing the lukewarm water in his face. He let out a small moan, whatever hidden contraption in his underwear had slid to a sensitive angle. He had never been good at hiding his pleasure, his stoic face melted at stimulation. He slid off his jean jacket, thankful he was wearing a sleeveless shirt, less thankful it was skin tight. He stumbled into the green stall, clutching at the sides as another wave of arousal flushed his body. Resting his head against the door, he gasped when someone entered the bathroom. He attempted to close the door, but it was swiftly slammed open with another's arm.

"You!" Sasuke hissed, "I should've known this was-ah!" Sasuke's knees bended, Naruto smugly looking over him.

"You should be nicer to the guy who has the remote" Naruto waggled it arrogantly in the air, Sasuke glared towards him.

"Oh, fuck you"

"You look like you could do with that right now" Naruto laughed, watching Sasuke's downfall was even more satisfying than he imagined. Sasuke straightened himself out, staring at him a moment. Naruto tensed, he didn't like that look. It was the look of a man who had control. There was a quiet before Sasuke chuckled breathily, shaking his head.

"Is that what this whole thing was about?" He panted, the smile on his face different from any other Naruto had seen. It was dangerous, radiating a heat Naruto was wary of. "You just wanted to see me all hot and bothered?" Naruto blinked a few times and blew a puff of air.

"Pfft, get over yourself" Naruto looked to the side, no longer feeling in charge as he was before. His momentary victory was being slowly pulled from his grasp. Sasuke gave an unconvinced hum. Sauntering over to where Naruto stood frozen.

"It seems the only thing you want to get over is me" Sasuke slid his arms around his neck, noting that Naruto didn't push him away, "I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it" Naruto gulped, not quite looking him in the eye. "Naruto" Sasuke slowly drawled, Naruto finally looked at him. Sasuke saw the conflict playing in his blue eyes, aiding the battle by dragging his hand lower, pulling at Naruto's zipper.

"I don't trust you" Naruto tried to hold onto his crumbling resolve, Sasuke's tempting hand easily felt the excitement Naruto was trying to restrain.

"Is that so, scaredy-cat?" Sasuke taunted, the tension snapped as Naruto's anger flared. Naruto's stance on Sasuke hadn't changed, he felt no love for the prissy prick, but he was hot as hell no matter how much Naruto disliked him. Grabbing Sasuke right back with the intention of hate fucking him, he went to smash their mouths together, before a few fingers stopped his lips. "There's no rush" He chuckled, leading Naruto further into the stall.

Switching them around to push Naruto onto the closed toilet. Slowly lowering himself with a smirk, Naruto stared at the neck he was going to blemish with hickeys. Sasuke took his hands, easing them back. Closing in like a snake, but so unlike Orochimaru. Naruto groaned as he merciless grounded his hips, head pressing against Sasuke's shoulder. For the first time, he was close enough to take in Sasuke's scent. The mint from his shampoo was oddly nice, but his skin couldn't hide the slight sweat and richer scent. So enveloped in getting to bite the pale neck, he barely could form a thought as Sasuke suddenly stood away from him. Holding the remote and a sneer.

"As if I'd ever let you fuck me" Sasuke turned off the vibrator, sighing in relief. Naruto's face reddened in embarrassment, he couldn't believe he actually let himself get tricked by some pretty face. Attempting to stand to kick Sasuke hard, he fell back down. Trying to see what had kept him down, he reached around and fiddled with his belt that had somehow been tied to the toilet loop, "Have fun trying to get out, that's a tight knot that you can't undo with two hands" Sasuke flipped his hair arrogantly, Naruto reached out to grab at him, cursing as Sasuke swiftly jumped back. Leaving with his middle finger raised as Naruto yelled obscenities.

"I wasn't really gonna fuck you! You're probably riddled with bugs up your ass! Bastard, don't leave me here! Get back! Now! Sasuke! I'm gonna get you back!" Naruto huffed, stuck with a hard dick because of Sasuke yet again. He knew he had up his game, to the point where Sasuke's life would become a disaster.

...

Naruto wasn't exaggerating when he promised vengeance.

Sasuke stood idle, mouth gaping open as he stared at his precious, black Nissan, covered entirely in foil. Growling as he began to tear the foil away, a tight heat building in his arteries as nicks and scratches came to light. Yes, this was a CIA car on loan, but that was irrelevant. He had a perfect record to uphold! Returning anything he took in perfect condition. Naruto was a stain on life and now caused him a tarnished record. He heard distant laughter, he looked towards his apartment, seeing Naruto and his shaggy friend waving.

Of course, Sasuke wasn't about to take it from behind from the likes of him. If Naruto wanted to get extreme, he would happily comply.

Later that day, he watched Naruto yank out a litre bottle of Fanta, unscrewing the cap and swinging it back hastily. Sasuke chuckled loudly, it carried in the air as Naruto stiffened.

"You did something to my drink, didn't you?" To the untrained ear, it sounded as if Naruto was calm and perhaps tired, but Sasuke basked in the hidden ire that his voice hid. Naruto glared weakly, his pouting lip losing the hard edge. Naruto nervously stared at the half drunk bottle, wondering if he was going to have to make an unpleasant trip to the bathroom. "Ugh..." His bladder felt a heavy pressure, "You gave me the fucking shits? You're the worst" He groaned, bending over a little to alleviate the slight pain. Sasuke flippantly flicked the page in his book, shaking his head.

"Guess again" Naruto's eyes widened as he realised it wasn't coming out from behind. Giving a shout towards Sasuke, he shot across the room, jiggling restlessly at the handle. "Locked it!" Sasuke called out sweetly, Naruto kicked it to no avail, hoping Sasuke was truly kidding.

"I'm gonna piss in your room if you don't open it!" Naruto threatened, Sasuke stood and slowly walked over. Raising a brow at the jumpy boy, his face turning deeply red. Sasuke pointed to the lock that prevented any entrance on his own door.

"I thought you might, so you'll just have to go on yourself"

"Fuck you! I'm not pissing myself!" Naruto snapped, waddling quickly towards his own room. "You're not getting the satisfaction, bastard!" Naruto managed to grab his poor bin in time, letting loose and sighing in relief. His head turned back with a wide smile, "Bet you didn't think of my quick wits, huh?" Naruto taunted, Sasuke's own smirk met his, unwavering. Only pointing to the bin with a slender finger. Naruto screwed it face in confusion, he hesitantly looked down, the crinkling of paper stopped as Naruto finished. He recognised it instantly.

His project work. His project work which was made up of irreplaceable notes and materials. And was definitely not saved on any computer.

"I'll leave you with your quick wits"

Naruto stood silently as Sasuke left with only a sense of victory. Naruto's eye twitched. This time he would take it as far as he could. He looked down, his ruined papers he would have to redo. Naruto considered himself a decent person, a fair man, a good Samaritan. He believed in tit for tat. So, it would only make sense to return what Sasuke had gave him.

...

It had been eerily quiet the following days, Naruto had gone days without retaliating. Not a single word said other than a humble greeting in the mornings and when they retired for the night. Sasuke grew suspicious, though held on to the arrogant thought that he had bested Naruto and that he was now accepting his defeat with what little dignity he had left. It was the first time in a while he was able to relax, sit on his bed and read.

His thoughts did wonder back to his mission. Disappointed and a sense of frustration arose, it was never meant to be taken this far. Whether they were arguing or not, he was still no closer to doing what he was supposed to. With the rooms always low, only pin drops filling the air, it became harder to avoid his thoughts. Especially as they were perfectly correct. Sasuke truly began to believe in Naruto's mind reading power, as the blond had nervously called him from the other room.

"Ah, Sasuke? Can we talk or something?" Sasuke had his guard up, putting down the book and cautiously entering the living room. Naruto stood in his usual casual attire; cargo shorts and a shirt with a crude joke, adorned with that blue necklace he obsessively wore. Sasuke would be hardly surprised if the guy was a surfer, but he was yet to see a board or hear someone call the waves knarly. His hands were held behind him, holding something Sasuke was ready to dodge. "I want to call a truce" Naruto offered, Sasuke folded his arms, still unconvinced.

"I don't buy it"

"I thought you might say that, so..." Naruto revealed his hidden gift, a thick book by Walter Cronkite, "You said you were a fan of his when you first got here, and, well, here" Naruto held it out, waiting for Sasuke to take it. Sasuke stared at the book, no traps were visible, but that's not what was on his mind.

"I...you remembered?" Sasuke was struck, it was a passing comment he had made over a month ago. It wasn't true, but regardless, it was stunning to see that Naruto, the boneheaded moron who tried to eat ramen raw, remembered.

"Yeah, I figured that if I got you something, you know, special, we could try again?" Naruto smiled, Sasuke reached out, taking the book into his hands, "It's first edition too, so you know it's good shit" Naruto laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. Sasuke was captivated, staring at the book and felt like he was being hit with a hundred. "I could have been better and-"

"No, you can't take all the blame" Sasuke admitted, his guilty expression silencing the other, "I should have known better myself, expecting you to act like anything other than a college student was unreasonable" Sasuke huffed a little, giving away his true inner thoughts felt uncomfortable, but if Naruto was willing then he had to meet him half way, "And I shouldn't have ruined your hard work, I'm sorry for that"

"Wha-you're sorry? Really?!" Naruto was flabbergasted, as if it were a sight to behold. Though he imagined Sasuke wasn't the type to easily hand out apologies. Sasuke nodded.

"If you want, I'll help you redo it"

"You...would?"

"It's the least I can do" Sasuke shrugged, Naruto's bewildered expression eventually mellowed.

"I..." Naruto shifted, not saying a thing before exhaling, "I dunno, I guess I wasn't any better, I'm...sorry too" Naruto's demeanour changed, he gave a crawl of a smile, "You want to start over?" Holding out his hand, Sasuke made a humoured hum, meeting him with his own.

"No more pranks?"

"No more pranks" Naruto assured, looking just as relieved to have it over with. Sasuke was just happy to be able to do his duty. Now he could move in on Naruto, find out what he needed. Everything was finally smoothing out. Even if this conversation felt plastic, it was usable to Sasuke. He raised the book.

"I think I'll get started on this" Sasuke began to open the book, Naruto's smile dropping off.

"Wait, don't!"

But it was too late. A huge cloud of white powder hit his face, dropping the book in shock and taking a few surprised steps back. Naruto attempted to pull him back from the impeding doom, but his reflexes were too slow, in his panic Sasuke tripped over the wire by his feet, no doubt put there by Naruto. Slamming back into the ground and accidently triggering another level of hell. He gasped as his head was suddenly covered in a thick substance. The scent too familiar. For a solid moment, no one spoke, Naruto's cringing face and Sasuke shakily wiping the gunk from his eyes. Eyes lingering on the rotten mayonnaise that enveloped him.

"Um...so truce?" Naruto lightly joked, his skittish titter wore out as Sasuke glared up at him.

"Get out" Sasuke stated tonelessly. Naruto gulped a little.

"Look, I wasn't expecting you to say sorry and-"

"Get out!" Sasuke yelled, chucking the book towards Naruto's head. Narrowly missing him by a blond hair.

"Sasuke! Wait, I-"

"Get the fuck out!" He screeched, shoving Naruto out of the apartment in utter rage. Naruto's guilty expression did little to settle the anger that was growing every second. Not caring if the neighbour would call the cops, not caring if he failed his mission, he no longer cared at all.

Slamming the door in Naruto's protesting face, he stormed toward the bathroom. Yanking the prank out of his hair violently, tears forming, but not from the pain. Sasuke growled, he would not fucking cry over this. He prided himself too much to let any tears fall. Roughly removing most of the attack, he began to pack his stuff. Punching in Kakashi's number, sliding it on his shoulder, as he grumbled. Shoving his belongings, he waited for Kakashi's sleepy voice to come through. No doubt the man was sleeping soundly in bed, something Sasuke desperately wished for. Sasuke went to retrieve some tissues as Kakashi's phone answered.

"...hello?"

"Kakashi, I'm coming back now!" Sasuke heard shuffling on the other side, probably trying to talk while Rin wasn't around. Sasuke noticed the book by his feet, harshly grabbing it and stomping over to his window. Ready to chuck it out, even seeing Naruto walking dejectedly away from the building.

Sasuke saw red.

Then he saw a man following after Naruto. He paused his movements, watching as the hooded figure stalked Naruto into the night. He gasped.

Fuck, is that a mugger?

Sasuke heard Kakashi's voice try to grab his attention, he shook his head and rushed towards the door.

"I'll call back!" He shoved his phone away, dashing out of the building.

Covered in powder and mayo, his heart beat fast. He hated the blond, but he couldn't let him die! If Naruto went, so did Minato. Sasuke cursed under his breath.

"Fuck, stay alive, moron"


End file.
